6 days to go!

Today has been another flipping hell melter of a day, running around Belfast like a headless chicken, promoting the gig! Its strenuous but I secretly love it...muwhahahahah! So instead of chatting to editors I've now moved onto window-shop-owners and artistic haunts. Leaving leaflets and posters behind to all prying eyes.

It's good, I managed to cover most of South Belfast and the City Centre, in the snow! But sure its only water it won't harm yee.

Right down to business, the set is sorted I am taking on a friends advice and approaching it from a different angle....you'll just have to wait and see. Typed out a load of lyrics yesterday and re-jigged a few songs, just to give them more "umph" and honestly they sound better already. Got word that I am going to be on U105.8 FM, Sunday evening 6-8pm, on Kresanna's home jam show....I'm really looking forward to it :)

And what else is going on....still haven't got a glue what to wear? Actually I wonder would Ludwig wear a dress?

Until tomorrow take care xoxox

What a week!

Oh lord....what a week....I'm sitting in the library right now, feeling absolutely exhausted and completely happy at the same time...it's a strange but a good feeling. Anyway what a week, a hectic one yet a funny one and I wanted to just to "blog" it out of me. So lords and ladies make yourself a cup of tea and lets begin...Sunday the 16th, it's early morning and I am woken up by panic for the second time in a row...horrible nightmares, filled with red cloaks and horrid hands grapping me. Strange dreams fueled by the scary movies I watched the previous night while visiting my father. A family ritual these days is to spend saturday night playing poker with my dad and brothers while drinking Guinness .....not a bad ritual as I usually win...i've a good poker face! Anyway, I can't sleep and anytime I try, I dream of red cloaks.....sounds harmless but actually quite frightening if you consider movies like the Omen. 12pm finally comes around on Sunday and I am toren from sleep again only this time by my mother phoning me to make sure I'm on the bus heading to Dublin. Her voice reads the confusion in my tired mind as it slowly makes sense that I've slept in...feck! So up I get, tired and weary before I have even begun. Pause for a moment, linger over the edge of my bed not really wanting to leave it's warmth and cautiously with each eye that opens, I let the light fliter in through my brain as I slowly tick into motion.

"List the things you need Emer"...my head finally wakes up and there I am moments later scanning my room, making a list of what I need.

Capo

Strings

Feedback buster

Leads

Guitar (Dani or Adam?...Dani)

Stand

Clothes...shit what to wear?

knickers

socks

hoodies

money....feck I need euros

case...hard case

sleeping bag...nah the hostel will have something?

Phone, purse, cards, passport, MP3 player...what else.....hmmm....coffee.

I swear to god my mind is sometimes my best friend; it's pragmatic approach to things astounds me, it's like that sixth sense that gets you home when you are completely pissed!

Anyway 4pm Sunday the 16th, I am finally on the bus heading to Dublin, excited about playing somewhere new and happy to be leaving Belfast behind. Excited about getting lost and seeing what is out there. I get into the Purity Kitchens four hours later, the place is hiving with strangers and musicians, a friendly atmosphere. By pure chance I've got a bed at the hostel next door (I never really book things before I leave for somewhere...honestly I'm never organised) and from the edge of the bar on which I've taken my pew after performing; I am stunned by the amout of female singer-songwriters in one place and astonished by the QUALITY! Holy good God it's like every single woman that performed that night in that bar was a replicae of the old R&B Diva's who captured an audience with one note! I'm postively buzzing, the night was amazing and it has done me sooooooooooo much good to perform with other female singer-songwriters...anyway the night ends as it must and I head next door to the hostel I was really lucky. The next morning I am on the DART heading back into Dublin city centre with all of the 9-5ivers, suited up for the long regular week ahead. But I am standing there exhausted 'cause I've sat up most of the night watching TV.....reason being - we don't have a one in our house and everytime I see one I become memorized by the shows....shush stop laughing...I'm serious! lol! Anyway I'm standing there, swaying to and fro, riding the DART watching the fashioned prescribed housing fly-by and I smiling. A little smile at the thought of moving forward in baby baby steps everytime I leave....in baby-baby-steps .

Monday folds into Tuesday and I sink into the "push-the-play-button"world. Steve comes round on Tuesday and we jam over coffee, food and a raging fury! Basically I was told the previous week at a photo shoot for the DV8; that I was allowed 35 guests into the gig but when it came time to get the tickets I was told by another manager that the information I was given was wrong and that I was expected to pay out £350 for the tickets. At which point I calmly exploded, if possible and refused the tickets. I am sorry but I am not being bullied by a company which makes thousands of profit a year....sorry but I'm not a mug! Although telling my friends was a bitch because they were all geniunely looking forward to the gig. Playing the gig was even worse because it was nothing more than a pantomine! But it was in the name of charity and it did get me free publicity so I just sucked it up and sang better than I have before...I did what I was asked of me to do. Smiled for the camera's, met a few decent musicians who should wreck the charts with their talent and then fucked off to the pub with my mates.....it was a learning experience that night. One which taught me...choose your gigs, choose the genre you want to exploit yourself in, stop chasing the limelight, remember why you are doing this and trust your instincts!

SO Thursday is a day of sleep, working, rehearsing, packing, making lists of what I need, heading to my mums for decent food and that general-good-feeling which only being around my family can bring. Because they know me sooooooooooo well and can take the piss out of me like nobody else! Love you xoxox

Anyway I get a text from Splinter that brings my heart soooooo much joy, I nearly start crying when I read it. Splinter teaches guitar lessons at the local school of music, one of the kids heard my song on the radio that day and asks for him to teach her it! So there's Splinter teaching this wee girl how to play Buen Camino. Now here I am thinking that success comes from record sales and myspace hits.....how wrong am I? The joy of knowing that a wee girl wants to learn my music, wants to know my story....just makes me sooooooo happy. Because it makes all of the shit that I take worth it and I keep going because of those moments!

ANYWAY...enough ego stroking on my part....Friday comes around and I still haven't got any sleep, I've been up to the wee hours packing, organising things and when I finally hit the pillow in the wee hours of Friday. I am woken three hours later by my house mate shouting through my bedroom door. Asking me if I was okay and if there was smoke in my room? I jump startled realising that the screaming boilers going of in my dream was acutally the fire alarm in the house going off? FUCKKKKKKK I panic immediately reach for a t-shirt throw it on and open the door to that fucking banshee of a fire alarm. We check the house and theres no fire.....phew but now we do have a faulty fire alarm bleaping every two seconds! ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOU INSANE...yes, I wasn't getting back to sleep. So up I get and head to the airport. And there I am heading for Manchester, half awake and I still need to sort out a bed for the night! Emer I screach inwards...will I ever learn?

So I find a bed, I sleep for a few hours, rehearse, eat, rehearse, wash, rehearse and then finally dress. Head for the Roadhouse, which is litearlly down the street from my hostel (the hatters a wicked place). My first impression of when I walk into the venue that night was "awh jaysus this place smells of piss" I'm introduced to the sound guy...nice bloke and then to the agent from Jar Record Music Group....a lovely lady. So hears the score, I am first on that night as I am the folk act and the rest of the acts are rock bands....I'm kind of familar to this scenario...trust me its really funny when you are on stage and your watching all of these rockers chilling out to your music. I do my set, armed with a pint of guinness! There are people recording me, somebody is taking down notes and everybody has gone silent. A beautiful thing which i have noticed with crowds across the water....they shut up when you are playing! A nerving experience at first but then again a beautiful thing. So I play my set, sing my heart out and harness those notes. This may sound strange but when I play guitar I turn my head away and let my fingers play. It's let my ears are looking for the notes that resonate a certain way. I know I sound like a freak trying to explain this but there are certain notes that resonate at certain freqencies which actually make you quiver. And I'm trying to find those in my voice. They hit me sometimes and I don't know how but I tickle from inside....I know...sounds strange you can lock me up now but its true. I get off stage after a little set, I head back to my chair then I notice a familiar face...Eli, somebody who travelled from Wales to see me at my last gig in Manchester has now repeated the journey to see me this time. And once again comes that joy, that beautiful joy which is worth more than record sales or website hits! That knowledge that your doing alright kid. So to Eli...thank you with all of my heart, you make the journeys worth it, make me want to do more, work harder and sing better..thank you!

Now the rest of the acts that night rocked but none other than a band called Airship and another wicked band called RESIST....what a show. I'm telling you i would sign these guys if I had the money to promote them and do them justice! Imagine a group which is the cross of Electric Six and Nine Inch Nails....yeap they are that good now go check them out (www.myspace.com/resistmusicuk).
So anyway that night playing in the Roadhouse was great not only 'cause of the acts, but just because of the way the night was run! Apparently there were A&R agents from Universal Records and other major labels at the gig. But I don't care 'cause what I am getting back is constructive criticism from Jar Records Music Group. Real advice on how to move forward, where to go from here and just a general pat on the back saying "yeap we like what you do"! Now that coming from people in the industry who's business it is to develop you successfully is more fucking like it! This gig wasn't a pantomine, a rushed on rushed off stage approach it was an opportunity to showcase your talent, an opportunity to go somewhere...which is fucking needed in Northern Ireland!

SO enough said, enough of my ranting, I love yet hate Northern Ireland. There is a good community music scene here but it is community base and unfortunately like we are constantly told at NIMIC conferences...leave! Which is a bitch 'cause I don't really want to as all of my friends and family are here.But I think a few years abroad exploring whatever there is out there won't do me one pick of harm.

Anyway from this week (I say anyway far too much), actually from Friday onwards....I am showcasing myself through the net via live video diarys, shows are streamed live over the net courtesy of www.livewebstars.com. It's taking up a month of my life. Which I'm forming a plan about how to manage it, gathering friends around me to help and setting myself a challenge. Which will be to have songs ready for my debut album by the end next month. The bonus of doing it this way is that you guys will see me as I am, there's no middlemen just you and me. Also you can interact with me i.e. let me know what sucks, whats best and what you want to hear. So heres to the future, whatever it bring and please....please may I keep hearing those sounds xoxox

Peace people and remember to show the love xox